


Wanting

by zeldadestry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-09
Updated: 2008-07-09
Packaged: 2017-10-10 06:25:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeldadestry/pseuds/zeldadestry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one can resist him, not even when he wishes they would.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanting

No one can resist him.

No one can resist him, not even when he wishes they would. Lily is waiting in his bed and she doesn't even blush when he meets her gaze, when he shakes his head at her. "I don't care," she says. "I have to do this, just once. I have to know what it's like. It's crazy, I never knew I wanted you before, but now, now, now that I've had sex, I think about you all the time. I want you all the time. Even when James," and now she blushes, "even then, I want you. Just once, just once, Remus, please."

"You know it's not real. It's thrall, a dark power I don't want."

"It feels real," she insists.

She's squeezing her tits, her other hand roaming down her body to slip her fingers into her swollen cunt. She's all he can smell. There's no turning back, he knows that as he approaches the bed. He watches her, grows hard as she rocks her hips. "Turn over," he says. "Let me see your ass."

She does as she's told, holds herself up on her knees and one arm, and she's pushing the fingers of her other hand in and out of her pussy. "Is this how you're going to do it? Do you always fuck from behind?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want to see my face?"

"I know what you look like."

"James wants to see me."

"He loves you."

"You love me."

"I won't when I'm fucking you."

"Kiss me," she says. "Aren't you going to kiss me?"

"No."

"Is this the wolf? Is that who you are right now?"

"No, this isn't the wolf." He covers her body with his, tears her hand away from her cunt and replaces it with his own. God, she's wet. He bring his fingers up to his mouth, tastes her juice. "The wolf would kill you," he whispers, rubbing her lips again. Now he brings his fingers up to her mouth so she can taste herself. She sucks at his fingers, shakes in his arms. He slides his fingers into her mouth as she swallows around them. Her spit is trailing down over his hand, and she bites down when he presses his cock inside her, when he fucks her. She's so loud when she comes. She screams and her whole body writhes.

 

Sirius is the most beautiful person Remus has ever fucked, ever seen. Remus has just finished fucking him and Sirius lies beneath him, panting, limp, completely worn out by the stroke of Remus's hand, the slickness of his mouth and the brutal thrust of his hips. Remus stills for a moment, watching Sirius, admiring the profile of his face, adoring his dazed expression, and then he runs his hands down the sides of his torso, bends to lick the sweat from the hollow of his lower back.

"God," Sirius says. "It's always like this. Every time." Awe in his voice, of course. Remus knows how to make him happy. More than that, Sirius's desire is always renewing, he always wants Remus as much as if he'd never had him. Sirius moves like he wants to roll over and lie on his back, but Remus presses him down with his hands.

"Stay," he says, lying on top of him, tucking his head in at his neck. He's listening to the thrum of Sirius's blood through the carotid artery.

He is so beautiful. Remus sometimes orders him to be still, just so he can stare his fill. He has big, dark eyes, wicked and wonderful, they beam at Remus, especially when Remus touches him. He has full, soft lips that spread in a broad smile whenever they're together. Sirius thinks he loves Remus, that is the tragedy of this. He really thinks that his heart belongs to Remus, instead of just his body. He doesn't know about the wolf. He doesn't know, as Remus does, that for all its pain, his curse has given him some impossible attraction to others. He can have anyone he wants, he's had anyone he wanted, ever since puberty. They want him, they're enthralled with him, desperate to have him, but they don't really love him.

And does he love them? In the past, no, never. But Sirius is different. This fucking is more than just sex. Remus's appreciation of his body even has, at times, an edge of devotion. He not only wants Sirius's body, he lives in awe of it, of his long limbs, his huge hands, the grace with which he moves. Remus keeps pictures of him.

All the same, he knows he is not really capable of loving his lovers. He tires of them eventually, usually within one cycle of the moon. Perhaps it is a different wolf which possesses him each time, a different wolf with different desires.

Love. He loves James, of course, and Lily. He loved his parents until he realized they no longer really loved him. They've seen him change too many times into the beast. They don't believe anymore that the monster is the intruder into Remus's life. They think Remus is the disguise; he is the sheep's clothing.

Yes, he can love. Now, when Sirius is dressing so slowly, so unwilling to part from Remus, it is enough to make her eyes tear to know this will be over soon. He has been with Sirius for three months now. Sirius is kissing his face, bending down to do it, the back of his hand brushing against Remus's cheek. "I have to go to practice," he's saying, and Remus listens, less to the words than to the deep voice that says them. "Let me see you again tonight."

Remus doesn't answer, and Sirius repeats his request until it becomes a plea, and it makes Remus ashamed for Sirius and for himself, for this awful situation in which they're ensnared.

A month ago, he would have said yes, of course. Two months ago, he would have insisted Sirius return to his bed, his arms, as soon as practice was finished. Three months ago, he would have refused to let him leave at all. Now, he does not need him more than once a day. Soon, he fears, he will not need him at all. What can Remus possibly say to him, when that day comes? How can he possibly explain? Sirius will hate him, and he will deserve it.

 

"Time will take care of it," Lily consoles. "He'll find someone else and he'll get over it, forget you."

But I don't want, Remus thinks, I don't want him to find someone else. I want him to stay with me, down at the end of the bed, curled up at my feet, my faithful and loyal pet, forever.


End file.
